Getting to Heaven … through an Irish child’s mind

You gotta love the Irish people.

A true Story from an Irish Sunday School Teacher:

… Editor’s Note: All stories reputed to be true, per the Internet, are true!

I was testing children in my Dublin Sunday school class to see if they understood the concept of getting to heaven.

I asked them: If I sold my house and my car, had a big garage sale and gave all my money to the church, would that get me into heaven?

‘NO!’ the children answered.

If I cleaned the church every day, mowed the garden, and kept everything tidy, would that get me into heaven?

Again, the answer was ‘NO!’

If I gave sweets to all the children, and loved my husband, would that get me into heaven?

Again, they all answered ‘NO!’

I was just bursting with pride for them. I continued: Then how can I get into heaven?

A little boy shouted out: ‘YUV GOTTA BE FOOKN’ DEAD.’

Thanks to George Harris for passing along this bit of humor.

Some Sunday School Humor … Maybe

A lesson to be learned from typing the wrong email address!!!

A Minneapolis couple decided to go to Florida to thaw out during particularly icy winter. They planned to stay at the same hotel where they spent their honeymoon 20 years earlier.

Because of hectic schedules, it was difficult to coordinate their travel schedules, so the husband left Minnesota and flew to Florida on Thursday, with his wife flying down the following day.

The husband checked into the hotel. There was a computer in his room, so he decided to send an email to his wife. However, he accidentally left out one letter in her email address, and without realizing his error, sent the email.

Meanwhile, somewhere in Houston, a widow had just returned home from her husband’s funeral. He was a minister who was called home to glory following a heart attack. The widow decided to check her email expecting messages from relatives and friends. After reading the first message, she screamed and fainted. The widow’s son rushed into the room, found his mother on the floor, and saw the computer screen which read:

To: My Loving Wife
Subject: I’ve Arrived
Date: October 16, 2004

I know you’re surprised to hear from me. They have computers here now and you are allowed to send emails to your loved ones. I’ve just arrived and have been checked in. I see that everything has been prepared for your arrival tomorrow. Looking forward to seeing you then! Hope your journey is as uneventful as mine was.

P.S. Sure is freaking hot down here.

Thanks to Barbree Sirois Corzine for sharing.

Thank You John Paul II … your legacy is greater than your fans know

Recently I was reminded that my days are numbered and that I face terminal velocity in life.

I expect however to putter along at slow speed for another 30 or 40 years yet so please make no plans to drink freely at my expense at my wake.

A dear Catholic friend was/is very concerned for me because I am a cultist, damned Unitarian. A heretic. (Shouldn’t cults have leaders and secret ceremonies, and beautiful half-naked women on slabs of cold granite about to be sacrificed to the IRS in lieu of actual payment?)

Anyway, I am not a cultist and don’t know any Unitarians that are. We are in search of truth, not purveyors of truth.

To make a long story short, I informed my buddy that Pope John Paul II had himself assured me that I too am eligible for heaven (should such a thing exist).

Pope John Paul II issued an encyclical in 1990 called Redemptoris missio.

Within Redemptoris missio, Section 10:

“The universality of salvation means that it is granted not only to those who explicitly believe in Christ and have entered the Church. Since salvation is offered to all, it must be made concretely available to all. But it is clear that today, as in the past, many people do not have an opportunity to come to know or accept the gospel revelation or to enter the Church. The social and cultural conditions in which they live do not permit this, and frequently they have been brought up in other religious traditions. For such people salvation in Christ is accessible by virtue of a grace which, while having a mysterious relationship to the Church, does not make them formally part of the Church but enlightens them in a way which is accommodated to their spiritual and material situation. This grace comes from Christ; it is the result of his Sacrifice and is communicated by the Holy Spirit. It enables each person to attain salvation through his or her free cooperation.”

I do believe in God, although I cannot define what God is. God is the great I am. The Bible alludes to gods living in heaven, beings other than angels or deceased/reborn souls — so whether God is singular or plural doesn’t really matter to me. I am in search of God, not a dogma of the unknowable.

So I would like to close with this thought:

 Dalai Lama offers a BIG thought

Since taxes follow us even into death then helping others may not actually be our prime purpose. Yet, it is a positive life-giving thought, however.